His curly hair, his bushy eyebrows, his bottle-bottom glasses, but especially his painted black mustache, made him an icon of comedy . With these funniest Groucho Marx phrases we pay tribute to one of the most special humorous artists in black and white Hollywood.
- More laughs: 30 short jokes to laugh and not stop.
60 phrases of Groucho Marx full of sarcasm
We already warned you that in this list you will not find the supposed epitaph of Groucho Marx that has always been said to pray on his grave; that is nothing more than an invention. Be that as it may, 41 years after his death, Groucho’s acid humor still manages to make us smile .
1. I must confess that I was born at a very young age
. Are you referring to the fact that you were born at a time that was not yours or are you simply commenting on the obvious?
After all, when we are born, we are all very young…
2. It says that: “The contracting party of the first part will be considered the contracting party of the first part”
One of the funniest and most well-known phrases of Groucho Marx,taken from the film A Night at the Opera (1935) in which he appears with Harpo and Chico , his brothers in fiction and in real life.
3. I refuse to join a club that would admit someone like me as
a member After a request to join the “Friars Club of Beverly Hills” in which he was rejected without knowing who he was, those responsible tried to apologize by reinstating him again as soon as they realized the mistake. However, this time it was Marx who declined the offer.
4. Behind every great man there is a great woman. Behind her is her wife
From her An irreverent criticism of the American society of the time, in which love affairs outside of marriage were common.
5. He can look like an idiot and act like an idiot. But he is not fooled. He really is an idiot
. Generally, those who act like one is because they really are .
6. Marriage is the main cause of divorce
An obviousness so clear that it scares.
7. Ladies and gentlemen: these are my principles and if you don’t like them, I have others
Among the irreverent phrases of Groucho Marx we find this pearl that rebukes the tendency of many people to change their ideals as they see fit.
8. There is only one way to know if a man is honest: ask him. And if he answers yes, then you know he is corrupt
. The actor with the painted mustache did not believe in the integrity of people .
9. It is better to be silent and appear silly, than to speak and definitively clear doubts.
An incredible lesson that has survived to this day and that even The Simpsons echoed.
10. Do not look now, but in this room about someone… And it seems to me that it is you
Another example of Groucho Marx’s incorrectness towards others.
The Marx Bros Dance GIF from Themarxbros GIFs
11. Before I speak, I have something important to say
Because everyone talks, but few people say anything .
12. Do not think ill of me, miss, my interest in you is purely sexual
This comedian did not mince words and much less, shame.
13. Pay the bill
What an absurd custom!
However, life is full of absurdities.
14. Man has no control over his destiny. The woman in her life does it for him.
It’s clear that in those days she could joke around. Today the most incisive phrases of Groucho Marx towards women would not pass the filter of censorship and, for them, he would be subjected to public derision and humiliation until he retracted.
15. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go to another room and read a book
It seems that, since the first half of the last century, the tendency to read books has already begun to decrease.
16. The other day I met two lions and I subjected them… I subjected them to a series of prayers and cries
A clear reference to the tendency of many people to make up the truths to look good.
17. While money cannot buy happiness, it certainly allows you to choose your own form of misery.
He who has money can afford to even fall from grace or not. He who does not have it falls inexorably out of favor.
18. A man always has his feet on the ground… Until he is hanged
A scathing mockery of the death penalty.
19. Bring wood!
This is one of Groucho Marx’s phrases that serves to illustrate what is known as the ‘Mandela effect’: for a long time, it was taken for granted that the most famous quote from The Marx Brothers Go West (1940) read “! More wood!”, but in reality it is “Bring wood!”.
20. Laughing at nothing is stupid, laughing at everything is stupid
Humor, like everything in life, must know how to use it at the right time.
21. Room service
Give me a bigger room
Absurd humor was Groucho Marx’s hallmark.
22. Excuse me if I call you gentlemen, but I don’t know you very well.
A malicious comment that hints that, if he knew them, the eldest of the Marx brothers would not be able to consider them as such.
23. I remember the first time I had sex, I keep the receipt
Groucho Marx will always be remembered for his impudence.
24. People believe that they have the right to be happy for the simple fact of existing
Groucho Marx’s phrases would not be well received in an age where the (erroneous) belief prevails that each individual is a beautiful and unique snowflake who deserves good things to happen to him because of his pretty face.
25. My mother loved children, she would have given anything because I would have been one
. The truth is that the mother of the Marx brothers always supported them in their career . Hers.
26. I drink to make other people interesting
Alcohol has the curious effect of sweetening reality, even if only at times.
27. From the moment I pick up your book until I put it down, I am convulsed with laughter. Someday I’ll try to read it
. Someone should have told the actor that you can’t judge a book by its cover.
28. I still don’t know what you’re going to ask me, but I’m opposed.
An effective way to cover one’s back.
29. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t
. Let’s hope this wasn’t what he said to his date the night he lost his virginity.
30. I never forget a face, but in your case I will be happy to make an exception
. Who had the power to forget a face at will!
31. The bad thing about making intelligent suggestions is that you run the risk of being assigned to carry them out
. Better not to talk too much if you are not willing to carry the consequences of our words to completion.
32. My son, happiness is made of little things: a small yacht, a small mansion, a small fortune…
Of Groucho Marx’s phrases about money, this is perhaps the most representative of his thought.
33. He can look like an idiot and act like an idiot. But he is not fooled. He really is an idiot
. If you look and act like an idiot, then we have bad news for you.
34. Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
A fierce way of attacking the submissive attitude of many men towards women .
35. Nobody is completely unhappy with the failures of his best friend
Of him As long as they are others, failures are even well received.
36. The secret of success is found in sincerity and honesty. If you are able to simulate it, you are done
Groucho Marx thus got involved with the hypocrisy that seems to have been established in interpersonal relationships.
37. The next time I see him, remind me not to greet him
A very effective way to show the dislike that certain people cause us
38. She is so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me
A dart dedicated to the Witnesses of Romantic Love.
39. Politics is the art of looking for problems, finding them everywhere, diagnosing them incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies
This is one of Groucho Marx’s phrases about politics that best define what this… Art
40. Until ? When I joke, I tell the truth. And it’s not a joke
An appointment with an important message: the joke does not fit in the truth.
41. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life, which does not say much in your favor
Groucho Marx, a true gallant who knew how to dazzle the ladies.
42. At parties you never sit down, someone you don’t like can sit next to you
, and who on top of that talks to us! Help!
43. You are the reason that our children are ugly
Another way of saying “you are uncomfortable to see” .
44. I will never see movies where the chest of the hero is bigger than that of the heroine
. Poor Groucho Marx was going to get a thousand evils if he saw any current movie in which the actors wear pectorals that seem sculpted in the rock.
45. If a black cat crosses your path, that means the animal is going somewhere
. The actor did not let superstitions condition his life.
46. Some time ago I lived with a woman for almost two years until I discovered that her tastes were exactly like mine: we were both crazy about girls
There are not a few of the funniest Groucho Marx phrases dedicated to love misunderstandings .
47. Look, throwing a party and not inviting me… I almost didn’t come!
Always glad to meet you.
48. A woman is an occasional pleasure, but a cigar is always a cigar.
Each person orders her priorities in her own way, right?
49. If you want to see a comic nude you should see me in the shower
Nor were his incredible displays of self-esteem and self-confidence lacking.
50. I’m not sure how I became a comedian or comedic actor. Maybe it is not. In any case I have made a very good living for a number of years by posing as one of them.
If he was only pretending to be a comedian for so many years, he faked it perfectly.
The solution to your problems is not at the bottom of a bottle , Groucho.
52. Honey, in what prison did you tell me that they taught you to prepare this soup?
Let’s hope that the comedian did not dedicate this pearl to any of his lovers.
53. I really enjoyed this play, especially during the break
We are sure that using any of these Groucho Marx phrases, anyone would have made many enemies.
54. Women who only stand out for their physique don’t say anything to me… In fact, they don’t speak to me
As an old Spanish saying goes: “The best contempt is not to appreciate it . ”
55. True love only comes once in a lifetime… And then there’s no one to take it away from him
Probably for this reason, Groucho Marx got married so many times.
56. Learn from the mistakes of another and you will never live long enough to make your own
. Is it possible not to make mistakes if we avoid acting as others have done previously or is it a necessary step for our learning?
57. Money will not make you happy and you will not make money happy
Another of Groucho Marx’s phrases about money with more bad grapes.
58. I was so busy writing the review that I could never sit down to read the book
One of our most widespread endemic evils : criticizing something without knowing it thoroughly.
59. Laughter is a very serious thing.
It should not be taken as a joke.
60. Stop the world, I’m down
Seeing how the panorama is, a server too .
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