Using these questions with tact and respect will help improve the relationship | Image: Jeremy Wong
The sentimental field is probably one of those that generates the most concerns in the human being. Our ability to socialize has led us to the need to find a partner with whom we feel a sufficient degree of complicity and affinity . This attraction arises from certain chemical processes that take place in our brain and that are triggered when we are with who we like.
When we meet people for the first time (and there is a certain likability), we are curious about different aspects of their lives. On the emotional plane, this happens in the same way: before and during the relationships that we can establish at this level,we want to know with more intimacy who we have chosen as a sentimental partner.
- You may be interested: 40 uncomfortable questions that nobody wants to hear.
The basis of every relationship
. How can we achieve it?
The answer is simple: developing and promoting a two-way communication thread, encouraging us to establish a dynamic of open dialogue based on understanding, respect and equality . Although it is true that this is not the only necessary ingredient to guarantee success in our relationships, it assures us that both parties are looking for something similar.
Depending on our concern to find out more about our partner, we can ask him different questions about his personality with others, his hobbies or, why not, about his sexual preferences, how passionate he is when it comes to intimacy or his willingness for new experiences. Before continuing, we encourage everyone who reads these lines to leave behind many taboos in reference to sex, because although it may not seem like it, there is still a very powerful social stigma that many have not managed to get rid of. What can you ask your partner
From here we propose a battery of questions to achieve greater intimacy with your partner. Although it is not necessary to dedicate yourself to bombarding our interlocutor with all of them (you can follow the order you want, skip the ones that do not matter to you or you can leave for another moment) nor elicit information from him that causes him to hesitate to speak.
Taking into account that, as we have commented, we are in favor of normalizing any topic of conversation , we do not deny the fact that this must be done with some tact and gradually. So: understanding, respect and good sense.
To awaken the libido in a person, it is not only necessary to focus on the sexual aspect (although it is necessary) but it should be combined with personal questions that uncover other sides.who is in front of you. You can play around with this depending on how the mood is: 1. How important is physicality to you?
While some people focus on the affection they receive, intelligence or cultural level; There are those who prefer physical attractiveness over other characteristics. When we are getting to know someone, it is convenient to be honest with oneself and with that person to clarify this point as soon as possible and thus not contribute to creating misunderstandings. 2. Do you consider that you can have intimate relationships with many people
One of the issues that can be controversial. In any case, although many people do not conceive that their partner has had different encounters before being with them,it is recommended to be familiar with the degree of conservatism or liberalism in that sense of the other, although always without prejudging or stigmatizing, if we consider long-term intentions. 3. How do you value sex in the couple?
In this way you determine the weight that sex has in your relationship for the other person. Although many people are afraid to expect an answer that is something like “I hardly care about it” or “I value other things more” (truly sex is not the cornerstone, but it is something to take into account), there are those who are surprised for good when they run into someone sexually active like them. 4. What do you think are the four adjectives that best describe you?
So you can find outHow does she perceive herself and see what image she transmits. 5. Would you change something about yourself and why?
During our existence, we live experiences that we do not always want to have happened to us and that affect us in a certain way. Here we try to open a communicative way that allows us to express our discontent and desire to turn it into an achievement . 6. What three aspects of my personality do you value the most?
Very useful to detect what is prioritized about you since it gives it more importance. This unknown can be raised by both couples who are just starting out, as well as those who have a long journey . It never hurts to know how they see us. 7. Would you dare to tell me a bad experience
When we have previously mentioned dialogue as the basis of understanding, it was not random. This question helps to create a climate of trust that strengthens our bond; In addition to helping us become familiar with different facets of the other person, according to what they tell us. If you think you can, you can encourage your partner to narrate some of a sexual nature , since it is not always easy to talk about them but it is very liberating. 8. How would you improve our relationship?
Don’t be afraid to admit that there may be problems in your relationship. When you raise this, you show humility, a willingness to change and a desire for things to go in the right direction . 9. What do you think feeds eroticism
? Although there are those who insist on not seeing it,eroticism is a facet that must be kept alive if you want to have a certain degree of rapport, so don’t lose sight of it and don’t be shy. 10. Do you have any fantasies that you dare to share
Let’s face it: we all have them . It is about finding out if we give off enough confidence to the other party so that they reveal them to us and if we feel the same way to do the same if they suggest that we also be honest. 11. How do you reach ecstasy
? An open question: What excites you the most in moments of intimacy
? Your answer can give you clues about postures or “maneuvers” to perform (I think we understand each other) thatthey can make him explode with pleasure when you go to bed in the future . 12. What is your opinion of infidelities
? Have you been betrayed or have you ever been betrayed?
Perhaps one of the questions whose answers may generate more discussions in the couple, but nobody is in a hurry: if you sense that it will generate more conflicts than benefits, use it at another time .
However, it never hurts to know your partner’s point of view regarding infidelities and to what extent he is able to tolerate them. But let it not serve as an excuse for anyone to commit one either! 13. What do you think about having children
? Would you have children with me?
This is delicate terrain, particularly if we are old enough and are looking for stability with that person; more than anything because there comes a point where mentioning this doubt moves away from a mere hypothesis and is considered as a possibility for the future .
Sadly, for many it is a reason for separations for not sharing this goal. For others, on the other hand, it can be the boost they needed to decide to formalize a family. 14. Is it okay for you to have friends of the opposite sex?
We keep walking through muddy surfaces. And it is that here you can infer if we are with someone jealous or not. Just like the section on children, there are couples who do not tolerate their partner having friendships of the other sex and see hidden sexual intentions in it,most of the time unfounded .
Be that as it may, if his answer is negative, never allow his prejudices to make you distance yourself from those you consider important in your life. Couples can be many; friends, very few. 15. What turns you on
A not at all subtle and very effective way to understand how you should approach foreplay. 16. How many times a week do you like to make love
This will give you clues with which you can calculate to what extent you can give free rein to your lust or if, on the contrary, you better hold back and leave it for another time. 17. What is your favorite thing to do and have them do to you in bed?
Sometimes cliches and cliches fulfill a social function, no matter how hackneyed they are. This case is one of them: as much as you have heard this phrase, it is not in vain. Explore ways to enjoy yourself that turn you both on . 18. How would you react if you find your partner giving each other pleasure?
Not everyone would react the same to this situation: there are those who would not take it well at all, while for others, it may be the perfect excuse for a spontaneous sex session . 19. How do you like sex?
You need to investigate the preferences that your spouse has to satisfy him when you go to bed. Are you interested in rough sex
, do you prefer a more tender option
, or both?
Don’t hesitate to ask or listen to something you may not like: that should be the push that motivates you to improve . 20. Would you like to try new things in your sexual relationships?
Let’s see how far we are able to go and if we are willing to expand borders so as not to get stuck in the routine and make sex something worth experiencing; or we mark certain limits that we prefer not to cross. Either way, talk about it! One last comment
You have already seen how you can delve into the most erotic and personal sphere; now we invite you to select and use those that you consider most appropriate or that most concern you.
Yes indeed,be careful with looking like you’re in an interrogation room , you have to respect the times (both your partner and the circumstances) and never force a topic of conversation. And don’t forget: relationships are a thing for two, so your partner should also ask you.