The Best Female Jokes – Funny Women Jokes
A beautiful young woman out of the shower, wrapped in a towel and tells her husband that you can use the shower. When he enters the shower rings doorbell. The wife says she opens up, and down to open the door wrapped in a towel.
When you open the door is his neighbor Bill, who is amazed by the view offered. Then he pulls out two brand-new $ 100 bills and tells her that are yours if you drop the towel to the waist.
She thinks, “Why not?”, So he drops the towel and take the money. Bill gasps at what he sees, out soon two hundred dollars and offers them for dropping the towel completely. The woman thinks she had already come quite far, so it did not matter, and drops the towel to the floor. Bill contemplates a moment, thanks him and leaves.
When she rises again, her husband had a shower, he asked who had knocked at the door.
She answers: “It was just Bill.”
“What has brought the $ 400 he owes me,” asks the husband.
A lady of 50 years of age who visited an exhibition of painting each frame looked with astonishment, until reaching one of them asked indignantly:
And they call this art?
And an aide replied there.
No ma’am, they call this mirror.
At the roadside, the police see a car coming forward at the speed of pedestrians. He gets into his patrol car and goes towards the offender.
When you see that there are about five old ladies inside, eyes wide and pale as ghosts. The lady who is driving, obviously confused, he complains that the agent:
“Officer, I do not understand. I was driving exactly the speed limit.”
“Gee, lady, driving at a speed much lower than the limit can also be dangerous.”
“But officer, I was going exactly the speed limit: 22 miles per hour!”
Trying not to laugh, the police said that 22 is not the speed limit but the number of the road.
A bit embarrassed, the lady smiles and thanks the police has been removed from your mistake.
“But before I let it go, ma’am, tell me if all is well. His friends seem to be very frightened and have not said a word.”
Dismissing the fact, immediately, the Lord replies:
“Do not worry, will soon be well: It is just out of Highway 190!
A woman will get the passport. The duty officer asked:
– How many children do you have, ma’am?
– What do you call?
– Bernardo, Bernardo, Bernardo, Bernardo, Bernardo, Bernardo, Bernardo, Bernardo, Bernardo, and Bernardo.
– Are all called Bernardo?
– And as he does to call when, for example, are all playing out?
– Very simple, Bernardo and all of them cry.
– What if you want to be eaten?
– Same. Bernardo cry and all sit down to eat.
– But if you want to talk to one in particular, how?
– Ah! In that case, I call him by his surname.
– Carmen, you’re sick? I ask because I’ve seen leaving a doctor in your house this morning.
– Look, old chanta, yesterday morning I saw him come out to a> military yours and are not at war, right?