Short Jokes – Funny Jokes for Facebook
1. Girl: Do you know, married men live longer than single man do?
Boy: Do you know married men are a lot more willing to die?
2. On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
“What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing.”
3. One man calls emergency:
– Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!
After five minutes, the same man calls back:
– It is OK, I found another one.
4. Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don’t know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.
5. Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It’s $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I’ll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I’ll get you some nails and wood.
6. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
7. A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.
8. Engineer: Please drag the help folder to the right of the screen..
Client: Sir, your right or mine?
9. Patient: Doctor! You’ve got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!
10. Why did the jazz musician like the wooden board?
Because it had a nice groove in it!
11. Son: Dad, What is the secret of happy married life?
Dad replied in short: It is still a secret!!
12. “Do you know what really amazes me about you?”
“Oops. Sorry. I was thinking about someone else!”
13. HUSBAND: Shall we try a different position tonight?
WIFE: That’s a good idea… you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
14. How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
None. The invisible hand does it.
15. Man: My wife is short of mind and scares of water.
Friend: How do you know?
Man: When i went home and she was in bath tub with the security guard!!