Men Jokes – Funniest jokes about men
What do men consider a 50-50 relationship?We cook, they eat! We clean, they dirty! We iron, they wrinkle!
How does a man keep his youth?
By giving them money, furs and diamonds.
Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. They don’t stop and ask for directions.
Statement: “How much do you love me?”
True Meaning: “I’ve done something really stupid and someone’s on
their way to tell you by now.”
What is the difference between garbage and men?
Garbage gets thrown out and stays out!
How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
No one knows, the ex-wife always gets the house.
Q. Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
A. They don’t have time.
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don’t work half the time.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don’t work.
How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
Statement: “Do you ‘really’ love me?”
True Meaning: “I’ve done something stupid and you’re going to find
out sooner or later.”
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.