Jokes on animals – Funny jokes about animals – Free jokes
It is a dog who meets a crocodile.
The crocodile told the dog:
– Hi, bag chips!
And the dog answered:
– Hi, handbag!
It’s two dogs talking. There’s one who asks the other:
– What is your name?
– It’s market.
– Che? It is rather strange …
– Ben, however, my teacher told me all the time “Go, dear Che”.
There was once an explorer who fell from a lion.
The explorer frightened says:
– God, let this lion is a thinking Christian.
And the lion said,
– God, bless this meal!
The story is a veterinarian, a dachshund and a boxer waiting for their turn, the boxer can not stop laughing and basset asked what puts it in such a state, the boxer replied,
– “It’s you!”
– “How does me why?”
– “Because you do a lot of km’s for the legs too small!”
The other vexed him:
– “And you have the feeling in the ass for the mouth as flat!”
One day a lemon and a cow want to rob a bank.
The cow said:
– Let no dung!
The lemon adds:
– No one Zezta!
It is a calf that comes home from school and shows his ballot to his father saw him, he is not happy at all why?
Because it’s written on it can moo!
The scene takes place in the jungle. The Lion King continues and catching a gazelle and asks:
– “Who is the king of the jungle?”
– “It’s you!” said the gazelle.
Later he asks the same question to a frightened monkey. And of course the same answer. Even more later this time he asks an elephant soon grabs him by the tail, making him 6 towers above his head and throws it violently against a baobab. Then the lion surprising:
– “We can not ask for information?”
A good farmer bought a big new cock, finding his own too old to “meet” all the chickens. So when the young cock enters the yard, the old rooster comes to him and said:
– Hi youngster, now you know that I approach the end, so if you want, you could give me some chickens …
The cockerel amazed, replied:
– Oh no! You’ve done your time grandpa, now it’s my turn, I take all the chickens ….
But the old rooster, smart, asks:
– So I propose a race: the first came to the fence, there will be all the chickens you let me, but still 1 meter ahead, ok?
The young rooster, tough, fit, compared to the old rooster, who has trouble standing on his feet, replied:
– OK, old man, no problem, eh .. eh .. eh “…. The young rooster is sure not to make short work of old!
The race begins …. The farmer sees his young rooster chasing the old cock, eager to seize his gun and shot the young rooster, shouting: “Damn, that’s cock that I buy the fifth, the fifth cock fag!”
This is a driver that ran over a chicken and that relates to the neighboring farm, saying:
– It is you that chicken I just crush?
– No, ours are not as flat!
This is Hannibal, the bull, running around in his meadow, surrounded by barbed wire. In the field next to a beautiful cow eyes at him! After a few days, Hannibal there is more and gaining momentum, jump … the barbed wire and goes to his beloved.
– Hannibal Oh, you came!
– Call me birthday, bullets remained on the wire!
A mouse meets his girlfriend: I decided to diet, she said. You’re not eating more then your cheese?
Yes, but I do not eat more than the holes!