Funny Wedding Jokes – Best Marriage Jokes
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.
A husband said to his wife, ‘No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.’
Attending a wedding for the first time, Little Susie whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”
“Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.”
Little Susie thought about this for a moment, then said “So why is the groom wearing black?
Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I’m looking for a loophole
Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
The definition of a perfect Wife? – one who helps the husband with the dishes..
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, ‘OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.’
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
When I was younger I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, ‘You’re next.’
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.