Funny stuff – Blonde Jokes
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proof-reading.
Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can’t bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
A: She needed them for the darkroom she was building.
Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why do blondes love lightning?
A: They reckon somebody is taking their photo.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn’t get Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
It’s with tremendous sadness that I report a local blond girl has lost 95% of her brains….yes, her husband just died.
There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo!” she shouts, “How can I get to the other side?”
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, “You ARE on the other side.”
Q: What’s brown, red, black and blue?
A: A Brunette who’s been tellin one too many blonde jokes.
Q: What does Star Trek’s Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: Space. The final frontier……….
Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don’t have elevator jobs?
A: Cos they’ve no idea of the route.
Q: What’s a blonde’s idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver’s test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.
Q: How do you make a blonde’s eyes Twinkle?
A: You shine a torchlight in her ear.
Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q: What is a blonde’s favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!
Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?
A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.
Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she’s pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: “Is it mine?”
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