Funny Jokes Men vs. Women Jokes

Funny Jokes Men vs. Women Jokes

I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months:
I don’t like to interrupt her.

Men: A man has six items in his bathroom — a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

Women: The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man cannot identify most of these items.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
It’s called a wedding cake.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer the sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with “A man once told me…”

Women: They prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay.

Men: They prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place part of the foreplay.

Women: Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she’s walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants.

Men: A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the “Gimme the Ball” number in “A Chorus Line.

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