Kids Jokes Funny Children Jokes School Jokes

A lady with her baby (1 year) in a stroller made his
shopping in a supermarket. She finished and headed for the cashier. A
soon as she crossed the line of the output the alarm starts
sound. Needless to say, the guards rush to her:
“Empty your pockets Madame.” It’s empty, nothing. “I did not steal anything, do review your alarm to the con! “.” Not so fast, your bag. It’s emptybag, still nothing. The guards apologized and the lady out, but the alarm sounds louder.
“Wait Madam, not so fast, let us see this stroller more
almost. “They search and find a fresh chicken and a pizza:” Ha haaa, cry the watchful, and what’s that? “Confused, the woman turns to the baby and said, “I told you to ask, when you hungry! ”

A couple goes to the hospital (because the woman will give birth) and
he stopped at a light. The husband told this woman:
– We should call our child Rougearrête!
– But this is not a name, it’s stupid!
– But our neighbor called their son Jaunatant (Yellow Attand)

An old Parisian winter holidays in the Alps had the idea to go fishing in a frozen lake. Fish, he knew, he had done this all his life. But make a hole in a frozen lake, was the first time. So he moved his equipment to the edge of the hole and began to wait. After an hour, he still had not caught anything, then what is a kid who bore another hole near the old one and started fishing, too. Five minutes later, the kid moves and spell a three pike
book (not without difficulty )…. The old think it takes luck and his misfortune patiently. But five minutes later, the kid comes out of two pounds a tench!, Then a salmon, pike and even a …! No longer, the old approaches the kid:
– Hey boy, it’s been over an hour I’m here and I have taken nothing, and you in fifteen minutes you’ll take half a dozen
monsters .. how you do!?
– The Wee Fo wae o ho! answers the kid.
– Huh?!
– The Wee Fo wae o ho!
– Ch’comprends nothing, you can connect?
So the kid spits something into his hand, then said
– Should keep the worms warm!

A small handicap empute both legs and both arms going to the pool
with his class. When the teacher asks the class swimmer who can swim the
girl replied: “I sir, me sir ….”
“But not my little one does not talk nonsense” “If if Mr.”
And the little jumped into the water to prove his point. Once in the water sometimes a swim and is doing rather well. Back on board, the master
swimmer asked him: “It’s very small, but you got or learned to swim?”
“It’s my dad, every week he brings me to the sea and me thrown into the water , I must return to swim “” And it’s not too hard? ”
“No, the more boring it is to get out of a plastic bag …”

A teacher told one of his students:
– “Give me the definition of the water.” The kid replied:
“This is a clear liquid and when you put your hand inside it is black”.

A young woman sits in a bus making endearments to her very young baby, when a drunk guy comes staggering down the aisle. He stops and looks in the direction of the young woman, then said:
– Well, it’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen in my life!
The woman burst into tears. Seeing the scene (without having heard what was said) in his rearview mirror, the bus driver stops net, gets up and goes to catch the drunk guy by his collar and throws it out of the bus.
Then the driver told the woman:
– I do not know what that guy told you to put you in this state, but if it can help soothe your grief, I offer you some coffee from my thermos …
The woman thanked him and accepted.
The driver then takes his thermos, poured a cup of coffee to the young lady and handed him. From then dig into the bag containing his lunch, the driver pulls out a banana and said it out:
– So much for your little monkey …

David’s father is surprised not to have yet received the report card
his son and asked him the reason:
– And your newsletter is not here yet?
– Yes, yes, but I have lent him to Paul that he was afraid to make his father!

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