Divorce Jokes and Marriage Humor

The best joke in the world are here. Bad jokes as they alone, ideal for a little laugh and share with friends.

– Jo, since my wife left, the house is as empty.
– The miss?
– No, it took the furniture.

– As you call a man who has lost 90 percent
of his intelligence?
– divorced.

A couple is preparing for divorce:
– (woman) I’ll stick with the kid.
– (husband) And that why?
– Because it is mine, not yours.
– … but if it is not yours!
– Since no? and who bore him?
– No. Do you remember the day he was born, being on maternity
that shit and you said you changed it?
– Yes.
– Then change it!

– Well, my wife left me.
– Jo, man, sorry, must be very hard to leave you your wife.
– Drive? It was almost impossible!

The wife of Bill Gates has called for the cancellation of his recent
marriage because the wedding night you hear what
MICRO SOFT really meant.

It may be true that half of marriages ending in
divorce, but that’s not so bad if one thinks the other half of the
marriages end with the death of one spouse …

An elderly couple walks into the office of a lawyer.
– Good morning, I can do for you?
– Vera, we want a divorce.
– What? But how old are you?
– 96 and 98.
– And how long have you been married?
– 75.
– But excuse is that I do not understand, because they have waited
so long to divorce?
– Is it thought it would be better to wait until all our
children had died.

– Jo, I’m knackered … my girlfriend left me …
– bueh, do not worry, you’ll soon find another asshole.

Two girlfriends meet in the street:
– Hey, there’s something about the divorce of Peter and Mary?
– You know I like to repeat gossip … so listen
carefully the first time …

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