A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says “What the hell was that all about?”
A family had twin boys, but the only resemblance they shared was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other insisted it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other argued that the volume needed to be turned up. They were opposite in every way, one the eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist. Continue reading
Facebook Jokes Images – Funny Facebook Jokes
Sex Jokes – Jokes about Sex
Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
A. We’d eat pussy every Thanksgiving.
Q. What’s the difference between love and herpes?
A. Love doesn’t last forever.
Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.
Chuck Norris Jokes – Best Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris once commented, “There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact, there are none.”
The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn’t even come close.
When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: “excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole”. Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways. Continue reading
Best Funny Cards for Friends – Free Online Cards and Greetings – Funny Pictures
Jokes on animals – Funny jokes about animals – Free jokes
It is a dog who meets a crocodile.
The crocodile told the dog:
- Hi, bag chips!
And the dog answered:
- Hi, handbag!
It’s two dogs talking. There’s one who asks the other:
- What is your name?
- It’s market.
- Che? It is rather strange …
- Ben, however, my teacher told me all the time “Go, dear Che”.
There was once an explorer who fell from a lion.
The explorer frightened says:
- God, let this lion is a thinking Christian.
And the lion said,
- God, bless this meal! Continue reading
Jokes – Free Jokes Online – Best Jokes 2011
- What is an imaginative man in love?
A man who knows more than three positions.
- How do men exercise at the beach?
On returning to their stomachs every time they see a beautiful young woman in a bikini.
An exceptional event occurred yesterday in the maternity: A child is born with male genitalia and female … … A penis and a brain.
69 reasons to prefer beer to a woman …
01 – A cold beer is good beer
02 – We always get a beer foam
03 – A beer is always wet and ready
04 – A beer never migraine
05 – 2 beers can be consumed at the same time without complications
06 – A beer is never jealous of another
07 – No need to tell sweet words has a beer to relieve
08 – A beer, it is controlled Continue reading
Free Police Jokes – Funny Jokes
It is a road that is quietly at the wheel when he noticed a yellow dwarf beside the road that beckons him. He stops and goes to the dwarf, who said:
- I was starving, if you give me to eat, I t’encule.
The road is rather surprised, and says he does not want, it’s not his thing and there is no need that to feed him, and he’s in a sandwich . Shortly after taking over his route, he noticed a red dwarf on the edge of the road that beckons him. He stops and goes to the dwarf, who said:
- I really thirsty, if you give me to drink I’ll suck.
The road begins to s’ennerver, shouted that he did not feel like getting sucked off by a red dwarf, leading him a beer and left. He continues his road a few miles away, he sees a dwarf blue on the edge of the road that beckons him. It exceeded down and said to the dwarf blue:
- YEAH! I know! if I file to eat you and bugger me if I file if you suck my drink!
And the dwarf replied:
- That’s right, will hop, vehicle documents and we will solve it all for the post!
What is the difference between a boxer and a police car?
- In the police car there are two assholes.
Best Jokes about Men – Funny Jokes on Men
A husband to his wife:
- How about trying a new position tonight?
- Yeah, I’m 100% agree. You, you’re going to put the ironing board and I turn on the TV, I go to bed on the sofa and I’ll blow up every 5 minutes …
What is the smallest prison in the world?
The brain of a man, there is only one cell.
Two young men talk to each other:
- You know that man descended from apes and monkeys down from the tree?
- Bah! saw your face you had to miss the branches! Continue reading