20 Crazy Statuses for Facebook, Whatsapp

crazy status

  1. If I look like I am arguing with myself don’t worry about it. I am trying to reason with the voices in my head. They want me to hit you.
  2. The best feeling in the world is when someone you hate tells
  3. a joke and nobody laughs.
  4. Every time I’m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
  5. All dressed in my jammies and ready for bed, gonna give my sheets some ass and my pillows some head!! nighty night!!
  6. Best line said by a guy to a Girl: The day i will go on knees for another girl … is the day i will tie a shoe lace for our daughter..
  7. The awkward moment when someone says, “we should hang out” but you don`t want to hang out with them.
  8. Every morning I swallow a piece of paper that says “Keep up the good work fellas!!” just in case I die and the doctors have to do an autopsy on me.
  9. I wish I could record my dreams and watch them later……
  10. I just don’t understand how God would let us meet, if there is no way for us to be together.
  11. If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you’re not sure you can do it, say yes. then learn how to do it later…
  12. No officer, I did not hit their, I simply Fist Pumped their face!
  13. Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
  14. Boyfriend message to his Girfriend: Baby Sorry too Disturb you. can you send Me your Photo? It’s Urgent Serious matter “we r playing cardS & I have Lost my Queen” !!!!
  15. That’s IT!!! I’m tired of these damn lemons! LIFE-I Demand you give me some Tequila to go with it! Or I’m gonna start squirting lemon juice in everybody’s eyes!
  16. Work less..sleep more..live longer!
  17. Believe it or not, I was not always as awesome as I am today.
  18. I’m a Teenager: I have a messy room. I spend most of my time online. I have private shit on my phone. I go to bed late do whatever the fuck I like and I’m crazy about 1 person.
  19. Someone once told me that if you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean. If you hold a peanut shell to your ear, can you hear the circus ?
  20. Girls are like bluetooth, they are connected to you when you are around and when you are gone they find new ones but boys are like wifi, they are connected to different devices.

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